Life isn’t always black and white.

In fact, as we get older, I find little is black or white.  Women come in to see me after having children to look at their belly, and many expect  answer.  “You should do _______. Let’s sign you up for surgery next week.”  I’m not that kind of doctor.  Some women come in and are a clear tummy tuck candidate.  Others come and are clearly not.  And then… dum ta dum dum… there are those who fall in between.  The dreaded grey zone.

I’ve had three kids.  I know the grey zone. I’m in the dreaded grey zone. My belly used to be beautiful- not take photos of it and put them on a magazine beautiful, but flat and strong beautiful….though of course I didn’t appreciate it until I lost it. (Is there a country western song about this?)  I look at my belly, and I don’t love it, but I also don’t mind it.  There are those days where I think it looks pretty good, and those days it doesn’t.  But then I look at my kids and I know it was worth it.

So if you aren’t thrilled with your tummy, should you try to improve it?  As a woman surgeon, I think a lot about the scar of a tummy tuck.  Will you think about it? Let’s say we do the tummy tuck and the scar fades to nothingness, which is what I expect for most of my fair skinned patients.  So you have a teeny tiny line of scar across your belly and around your belly button.  Now you get dressed.  Are you going to think about the scar? Will you be concerned it shows? Will you reposition your underwear? With all of our tiny underwear and low rider jeans and running around all summer in a bathing suit chasing kids.  I think about the scar with every patient.

Many women I see fall into a grey zone- They aren’t what they were before kids (sigh.) but they aren’t bad.  If you stand up really super straight the belly skin looks okay. (don’t slouch!)  So should these women do a tummy tuck?

My advice for women waffling in the grey zone?  Wait.  Wait a couple years. Work out.  Do core training.  See what you can do.  Then evaluate if a tummy tuck is the right surgery for you.  When these patients come in for a consultation, I take out my very sophisticated advanced medical tool: a black sharpie pen.  And I draw (shhhh. don’t tell my kids) on your skin where I think your scar will go.  Then you go home and try on your clothes and stare at yourself in the mirror.  Imagine your skin is tighter; your belly flatter; and ohmy you have a waist again.  How do you feel about the scar?

Tummy tucks are big surgeries with a high “price”- they are painful, have bigger scars, and longer recoveries.  Don’t do it unless you need to.  Some women are just plain blown out after babies- hanging skin, stretch marks, or they look 5 months pregnant all the time.  These women really benefit from a tummy tuck.  But these women are not in the grey zone.